Daily Struggles
Bert Ballard is a Professor of Communications at Pepperdine University where he specializes in topics ranging from communication ethics to narrative and identity. He is an adoptee advocate as a Vietnamese adoptee himself and adoptive father. In his article, “Narrative Burdens,” Ballard argues how those considered ‘other,’ this case adoptees, are constantly questioned and placed under scrutiny of their identity. The terminology of “narrative burden” may be unfamiliar. In essence, Ballard describes “narrative burden” as the process of “personal narratives are placed under scrutiny and at risk by the questions of others” (Ballard, 2010). Ballard’s narrative burden terminology so eloquently explains the lives of adoptees and how the questions which are demanded are unfair. He later expands to instances of those who are also put in the position of “difference” those who demand questions. The questioning of identity reflects the difference between what is perceived as a ‘normal family background’ versus ‘different or strange family background’ so to speak. Finally, he concludes that identity is dynamic and therefore always in flux. Each interaction is a continuation of writing those narratives and it is up to each adoptee to figure out and present their own narratives which suit them the best.
Personal Reflection:
Personally, after reading this text, I finally felt I had the terminology to explain my own state of constant questioning and probing invalidating the ambiguous identity I have since I was young. The dreaded flood of questions from strangers overwhelmed and continue to overwhelm me when asked the question “Where are you from?” In fact, as you and many others have experienced the onslaught of unnecessarily curious, but harmful questions regarding my identity and biological/ birth parents. When I worked as a cashier I was helping one customer to her car and she asked me the question “Where are you from?” and then rephrased her question to “Where are your ancestors’ from” in order to find relief from her curious question and thereby refusing my answer “Indiana” and subsequently “Ireland.” Looking back on incidents such as these using Ballard’s ‘narrative burden’ lens allows me to criticize and analyze the person questioning me rather than internalizing my own unclear answers. Having the terminology under one’s belt only aids to validate an adoptee and others who are put in narrative burden positions being as just merely an individual.
Daughter from Danang - Gail Doglin
Daughter from Danang is a 2002 documentary film by Gail Dolgin and Vincente Franco. It follows 22-year old Vietnamese adoptee, Heidi/Hiep Bub, on her journey to find her birth mother, Mai Thi Kim. She was one of the children part of “Operation Babylift”, a mass effort at the end of the Vietnam War in 1975 to relocate orphans and mixed race children from Vietnam to the United States (and other Western countries). Operating under the guise of ‘saving the kids’ for when the United States pulled out of Vietnam, this tactic (led by President Gerald Ford) was meant to gain both moral and financial support for the war. Daughter from Danang focuses on the ramifications this evacuation had upon Bub (especially with her tumultuous relationship with her adoptive mother), and her subsequent desire to search for her identity as a transnational adoptee. She begins the film by saying the reunion with her birth family will “make all the bad memories go away”, yet she quickly realizes that it’s not that easy. Faced with different cultural realities and expectations from her birth family (such as constantly being hugged/touched and being asked for money), Bub ultimately leaves the country with the intent of not keeping in contact with her Vietnamese relatives, choosing to ignore the future letters they send her. Yet she ends the film by saying “The door is closed, but not locked”.
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Personal Reflection:
I had a myriad of reactions watching this film. I’ve seen and read about stories of successful birth searches, yet I had never witnessed or even imagined, it being such a painful experience. To me, the biggest problem was that Bub was completely unprepared for not only the culture shock of being in Vietnam, but also the emotional burden she would have to endure from meeting her birth family. She saw the culture (that she hadn’t grown up with) and the reunion from a very Americanized and romanticized point of view. Without any help or guidance from another person in navigating this complex and emotional situation, Bub was overwhelmed and ultimately disappointed. I don’t place the blame on her though — the burden always falls upon the adoptee to carry alone, which echoes Burt Ballard’s piece on narrative burdens. Bub’s experience turned out to be traumatic for both her and her birth mother, and I realized just how much preparation might be needed if ever one day I choose to seek my own birth family out. I’m grateful to have the resources and support to educate myself as much as possible in advance — I hope that other adoptees might find this resource helpful in preparing for some of the complications that can come up in transnational birth family searches.